First blog post

Hello! 

Ok so I’ve never done any form of blog before but I’m going to give it a go because using ‘notes’ on my phone is getting quite mundane. I like the idea of writing on here as it’s almost like sending a very long text to a friend without the guilt of them having to reply to you with advice.

Okaaay, so where to begin?

My name is Ren and I’m currently suffering from anxiety and depression. I’ve been feeling this way for about 3 years now but I’ve suffered from anxiety and low self-esteem since I was young. (I have memories of being body consious and comparing myself to friends as far back as age 7).

I first went to the doctor in July 2016 and got the help I needed, (anti-depressants, counselling and conversations about my mental health with my family), after being adamant there was nothing wrong with me for 2 years. Adament that all of these thoughts and feelings, worries and stresses were just me. That’s what I always said… “it’s just me. It’s just what I do.”

But thank God I realised that it wasnt just me being me but there was actually something wrong and there was a reason I was acting the way I was. Thank God there was actually a reason for why I was so upset all the time, sometimes inconsolable and would have panic attacks, a reason why my brain was going 100mph every second of the day which caused me to feel mentally drained 24/7, why I felt ill all the time when I was infact healthy, why I felt so alone when I had so many people around me. Thank God I got help and said yes to medication because I was on a downwards spiral and I could feel myself losing control. 

Yet, here I am. 17 months after first going the doctors, looking back at those dark times and actually smiling. Because I’m not there anymore. I did it! I didn’t let my anxiety or depression win. I won. I know I still struggle some days but I can say that I don’t struggle every day and that’s the difference… and it makes a HUGE difference to me (and my sanity haha!) I finally feel like me again which is strange to say but true.

So this is my mental health journey where I plan to keep a log of all my boring goings on.

Hakuna Matata

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